Tomorrow is Election Day. I am trying hard not to panic, to be overstimulated, over-involved.
I did not watch the second Trump/Clinton debate in real time, because I knew that it would agitate and terrify me, and I wanted to get a decent night's sleep. But I did watch and re-watch the footage, the eye-rubbing spectacle of a grown man lurking and hulking behind the nation's first female candidate as though he both couldn't bear to have the camera off of him for a moment and that he was poised to strike, adder-like, at his opponent from behind.
I watched the third debate, with ever-widening eyes, as the Republican candidate continued to approach what should be reasoned political discourse as though it were a 5th grade playground standoff ("Wrong! Wrong!" "Such a nasty woman!") And so my terror deepened, and in the intervening weeks leading to tomorrow's finale, I have been engaging in mindful soothing techniques designed to detach me from the process.
But America, some of you are scaring the crap out of me.
I am terrified because despite all of the media punditry affirming that Trump is a bigoted, vile, self-inflating, narcissistic, ignorant, sexist piece of garbage, whose fame and riches have been bought at the expense of others, he has been elevated to the GOP's nominee by supposedly reasonable people and still -- despite all evidence affirming his unfitness for the role -- has a solid chance at becoming our next president.
For me, Trump is right up there with film depictions of Satan, talking dolls, and killer clowns as the embodiments of horror. He is my personal Boogey Man, and in fact this whole campaign is a Nightmare on America's Elm Street.
"But Janine, relax," say all of my friends, all the Democrats, most of the media, "this man CANNOT win the Presidency. Look at the ridiculous things he says and does! Look at this recent video, where he bragged about treating women like sexual objects and assaulting them against their will! Look at his complete inability to grasp basic tenets of policy and American government! Look at his admissions about not paying taxes, about eluding convictions on civil rights, sexual assault, fraud and nonpayment of bills! There is NO WAY!" The media daily pounces on the outrageous, unconscionable, mean-spirited, arrogant, xenophobic things this man does and covers them ad nauseam, assuring us through editorials -- many of them groundbreaking in their intent to un-endorse a Presidential candidate -- that Trump will never win.
And yet, I cannot rest in the certain knowledge that Clinton will be our next president.
Why?
I think I'm a fairly intelligent person. I'm no academic scholar, but I know a few things. I grew up in the South Bronx, I've seen poverty and illiteracy and drug addiction and teen pregnancy. But I also have a college degree. I know a lot of people, folks I've met throughout my career and my schooling and my travels, and most of them are really smart people. Smart people are my favorite people. They read. They stay abreast of things. They have traveled, domestically and abroad. They have been employed for most of their working lives, and many of their gigs would be considered white collar. Many of them own homes, have started businesses, drive decent cars. They know how to make informed decisions. Most of them have a reasoned world view, a strong sense of themselves and their cultural history, and many of them are committed in ways big and small to the overall welfare of their communities and to a sense of equality and social justice. And I am lucky in this regard to have this kind of circle. If you are reading this, you are probably in that circle.
What I'm trying to say is that I don't know anyone personally who would vote for Trump (and if I do, they are wisely keeping that information under wraps).
But I'm starting to think that the enclaves of smart, well-read, informed people in this country are still relatively few, insulated, and rarefied.
Now this is not an argument for the merits of a Talented Tenth or a ruling class. But this country is divided by race and by class, something few of us like to admit or discuss. And I'm just saying that my views -- our views -- are not necessarily majority views. In the larger scheme of a broad and diverse 50-state nation, what you and I might consider smart and informed and for the common good is viewed by another part of the population as elitist, bleeding-heart, and out of touch. For these folks, "liberal" is a dirty word. These are U.S. citizens whose lives I can only begin to conceptualize and whose ideas and experiences I can't speak for. These are folks who haven't had access to, nor interest in nor time for the kinds of things people in our circle take for granted and their culture and family history includes values and opinions that are vastly different. What is truly concerning though is that over the years there has been a surge of prideful know-nothingness that borders on the delusional. And this is where things start to seem like we've all been set down in some sort of alternate universe.
I get it -- There are people out there for whom the 8-year presidency by an African American Democrat has been a stunning affront to their values and principles. These are voters who feel that a massive wrong has been dealt them that must now be righted in their favor, and the Day of Reckoning is at hand. And no amount of articles in The Washington Post, New York Times, Huffington Post, Vox, Slate, BuzzFeed, Rolling Stone or The Hill explaining the ways in which Trump is a preposterous and dangerous choice is going to sway them -- indeed, will ever be READ by them. So as we are consuming all of this material and reassuring ourselves that Trump will be trounced on Election Day, I fear we have been lulled into complacency.
Because while some of the Republican leadership is pulling back from their endorsements of this candidate, the ground-level voters have coalesced. The more boorishly Trump behaves, the more his supporters love him. The more shocking he is, the more they are convinced that his disregard for protocols and decency are in fact the right attributes to become their politically anointed dragonslayer. They WANT a guy who will pull down the political scaffolding that's been carefully erected through years of deal brokering, law making, inclusionism and foreign policy and laugh in the faces of the ones who built it. They WANT a guy that puts people of color, immigrants, women, and gays "in their place" (off the map, behind the wall, invisible and unrecognized). The fact that they have chosen this blowhard know-nothing as their hero is astounding, but as we stand astounded, this guy is getting headlines and grabbing up voters who cheer every time one of his infractions gets under our skin.
Further, a group of people -- including women -- who shout "Jail The Bitch!" and wear "Stop The Cunt, Vote Trump" T-shirts about Hillary Clinton, one of the most qualified politicians of any gender for the presidency, is not a group of people who are turned off by one "grab 'em by the pussy" comment made on a bus 11 years ago.
Please allay my fears, smart people. Hillary Rodham Clinton may have her flaws. But there is no such thing as a perfect candidate, and her flaws are minuscule compared to Donald J. Trump's transgressions.
Vote for a better America than Trump and his cronies would create. Please. End the nightmare and banish the circus.
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